im all about personality and sex appeal ;

19

2009-05-04T07:39:00.001-07:00

HI HOMIES it was my 19 BIRTHDAY!!! last weeek. and i dont really want to turn 20. so ugly with the 2 in front. anyhoodles. been really busy with school work and dance. and my whole crazy routine is going to start next weeek already. honestly speaking. im damn afraid i cant cope. i have not been in school for like a year leh! shitzxzxzxzxzx.
anyways. THANKS EVERY LITTLE BEING WHO REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY AND I TOTALLY ENJOYED MINDS CAFE. PLEASE! WE SHOULD GO THERE MOREEEEEE. AND MOREEEEEE. I LOVE 761. NO MATTER WHAT. YAYE. 5 YEARS 7 OF US. 6 HEADS AND 1 BIG HEAD. YAY YAY YAY.

on the other hand, i still have celebrations with JAN AND SIOK! and of course RACHEL KWAN ALYCIA and GENEVIEVE. i received a good deal of presents this year. HAHA!
and yes. ive officially shed 6/7kgs, the total number of weight lost altogether in like. 3 months. i hope i will lose more when i start dancing. (:

today is MONDAY! and sch was good. many many assignments. i can feel the stress already ):

BUT TMR IM GOING TO PERM MY HAIR WITH JAN! say goodbye to my long silky straight hair that many girls envy! im going to have PUBIC hair tmr onwards. FUCK!

ohya. i hate the NYP ambassadorial team girls la. walao damn bitchy can. i shall blog about it soooon.

hello

2009-04-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

HELLLO. im damn lazy to find a picture lor. so this post has no peekture ok! pls dont scolddd me. alot of things happppen. but im so lazy to blog out these days. but since jannny ask me to update i shall do it. im getting very lame. because i have no energy to blog. HAHA.

FIRST, my first weekend after school started was to WORK! (such a loser) and i received two FUCKING complains in 2 fucking days during my work at cartel.
'
complain ONE.
indian who wore SHADES and TURBAN with some sport bag(GAY i dont care): he ask me why the table so dirty and where is the menu!
i immediately shot him the WHAT THE FUCK face because i just cleared the table and out of soooo many empty table you chose the dirty one. you're such an ass lor. i think thats why you are an indian with such horrible smell and hair. fuck your cheebye la. i bet it stinks also. anyway.
i was damn RUDE also, because he talked to me in the super arrogant tone. so i just said. the menu is on the table, you can take the order yourself and i clean up for you later. then i laugh directly at his gay face, shook my head and walk away! fuck lor. my service damn bad right. he still sit down and continue to browse the menu. if its me.. i will just walk away since the service crew is so blooody rude lor~ * no brains
then he complain to my manager already. i dont care still. my manager did not scold me lor. HAHA maybe im pretty! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA joking!!!! i think he's the one being damn rude thats why. took bad INDIE!

complain TWO
it was a sat night. fucking busy. but i really did handle my section and service well. just that! this fucking MAN(china) from another section happen to ask me about the FREE BREAD!
china man with white skin and maybe non-existent penis: WHERE IS THE BREAD!( in the heavily accented english. trying to be ANGMOH) Ive been waiting for the bread till my food is cold~ its so long!
me: (i think you guys gonna be damn shocked) THEN? ( ya.. all i replied him was a then?)
chinaman: he gave me the shocked look
me: you can eat your food first what.
chinaman: gave the OHMYGOD face with his hands in the air
me: took away the empty bread basket to refill, not forgetting to let out a big fart of laughter.

so the chinaman complained la. ok, complain nvm. but he actually put words in my sweet mouth. he told me manager! ; he asked BREAD from me 5/6 times. (fuck your son la! i only saw you once. or maybe you dont know how to count) then he retorted i said: SO WHAT?! ( i said THEN not SO WHAT! didnt your english teacher teach you that my boy?) then he said i was very rude to him( ya. its true. because he is fucking cheapskate) but after he reported everything TRUTHFULLY! my manager still didnt scold me! HAHA! i told you i was cute!
but still. im damn FED UP! so i went up to the customer.
me: hello! pls dont put words in my mouth! i saw and spoke to you once only.
me: and i didnt say so what. dont accuse me. thank you.
he totally kept silent. GOOD FOR HIM. he is better with his mouth shut.

end.
ok! on a lighter note. im starting to love my course and school and my classmates!
met a new girl KAREN! she's really nice and we can really get along. i feel good with her. and my classmates dont seem so bad after all. nice people. (maybe its because im just too bitchy) HAHA! anyhoodles, im going to love this course!
AND i want to get a new CAMERA! pink preferred!
and ALOT ALOT OF HIGH CUT DOPE SHOES!

and i misss all my friends terribly! now im packed with school and dance! but i really want to stay in touch with everyone of you guys! LOVE! MUAH!!!!!
you should know who you are lah! i dont need list out!

next weeeek will be the sex!!!!
perm hair with JANNY
xuehui HIPHOP
foreign bodies AUDITIONS!
Sat night out with MCS GIRLS!

and tmr will be SEXY TOO!
thanks babe for celebrating my birthday in advance for me! yay. im going to get new shoes on my birthday!!!

2009-04-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

HEEEELLLLLOs.
you all should support xiaxue. she is damn cute and hilarious and i love her and kaykay.

ok. i know you all cant wait for me to bitch. you all secretly love to hear me bitch lor. fuck you! HAHA! but nvm, i think i like to bitch also. so lets get it started~~~~~~

yah. you all should know ive been posted to NYP right! so i attended this CLUB CRAWL CCA DRIVE THING. then got all the performing art groups showcasing.
I SWEAR! damn ugly la the girl. she is damn short and fat. indian. no no, her build or race isnt the main point. but she fucking think she is damn fucking chio. and she prostituted herself as the main character in the play where both guys were fighting over her. i mean. WTF. the cca is call STAGEARTS btw, i think they should find a better female lead lor. that girl is seriously ugly ok. even the dragon boat guys behind me were laughing their ass off already. joke of the day la that indie girl.
you know what. i shd buy a camera sooon. i think you guys will really love to see the faces of those people.
and you see the oriental loooking woman up there??!?! picture. got this ballroom dance girl loook exactly like her ok. and her teeeths damn crrrooooked. and her face damn near the guys face when dancing. i think the guy wanted to puke. yucks. i think my face was croooked throughout the whole dance also. HAHA. you must be thinking im damn mean. ya. i am. and im not exactly chio also. but that girl is just really not chio haha. i think after i post this entry i will become uglier.
but i already type. so forget it la. tmr i will buy tissues from the blind/disabled aunty. maybe God will treat it as my sign of repentance. HAHA. la.

and i really dont like my project group mates. but still. i have to do it la. i know jan will probably scream at me. but i really dont like to work with people i cant connect with. its damn sickening you know. and everyone so young theree. i feeel like dropping out of school already.
but FUCK.
cannnot lor.

you all must be thinking im crazy. but im going to sign up for another slimming centre to slim my arms. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.
such a vainpot.

i miss chelsea chang talks at night. and i miss sinee and yingqiu. and i miss jan's lame and funny life. and the interesting SX. i really miss the nanhua peeps and nanhua days. hai......

hahahahah

2009-04-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHA.

im feeeling, no. im having a kinda, mixed sensation inside me. as you guys felt it. there was this irregular storm. and i think the world is gonnnna enddd soooooon. omg. just hope GOD let me die with someone i love. family friends loved ones. dont let me die in NYP with my class can already. HAHA!

howeverrrrr. im not going to get all paranoid and upset lah! wahlao! i still laughing away at my friends lor. its really damn hilarious I SWEAR!

i was talking to SX and JAN on msn! then suddenly everyone went. DID YOU FELT THAT GUST OF WIND!!? and SX said all her tupperwares were blown off the shelves and plastic bags flying around.. but my poor baby SX just had back operation so she couldnt pick them up. this is just the intro! the climax came when my dearest JANNY SUM came into the convo like that!

"WHO IS WORSE?"
: ) hello, i am jan. says:
my house all the flowerpods broken. AND AND AND. she ended off with.

: ) hello, i am jan. says:
and i dont know how to safe them
SX says:
LOL
: ) hello, i am jan. says:
still got one is roses la.
its damn HILARIOUS I SWEAR OK! me laughing like mad woman with tears streaming down.

suddenly SX came in and said her dad told her he was almost blown away while coming home. which added on to my laughing gas. her dad told her it was serious. omg. and we went on about how much sand is there in the house and all. its damn funny. and jan said like she dont know where to step around in the house. HAHAHAHAHAH

so lame right, i know. but you all still read. HAHAHAHHA

and chelsea said her dog was frightened. AHHAHAHAH poor thing. then she even placed an umbrella on the dog's enclosure to block the wind. how sweet right. but you imagine chelsea doing that. like gay lor. GAY TTM!!!!

@*#(@*#)(@*#)(@)( LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOL

i bet tmr papers sure got news/headlines whatever. and my media teacher surely come and talk talk talk talk.

RACH IS BACK!

2009-04-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

HI IM BACK.

okok. i'll try to let this blog survive okay.

its my second day at schooooool.

fuck la.

i dont know if my classmates will see this next time not. but im still going to say.

they damn kok leh. or maybe because im older. by 2 years. idk!??!?!?!

but they are damn kuku lor. and they dont really dress up one. but i still have to stick with them for 3 years.

eh. and i think im becoming very fake because i smile talk socialise with them JUST JUST JUST because next time i must get into a good project group.

see. im so evil. but this is the way to survive.

and i will start to speak and read more english. become ANGMOH. because my course is so competitive. @*(@)#@@#()@()@#()

anyway, i miss nanhua people ):

and chelsea chang is so nice to talk to. just like how i use to laugh at her nonsense last time. still laughing at it now. AHHA hi chisu! mdm surin!!!

bitching officially starts tmr! stay tuneeee.

2008-12-28T09:24:00.000-08:00

OKAY. I WANT A LV AFTER ALL.

haha. thanks too all the lovable people out there. i received 2 CITIGEMS! ONE SK! and cards for xmas. okay., i never wanted to celebrate xmas in the first place. but im really thankful for all the gifts. esp. AMBER CHONG. oh and chelk, my bestgirl for 8years. ah. 5th jan!!!

and i want to thank baby kwek for all the wonderful rings and gifts. i think you've spent a bomb on me! but i really cherish all the pretty diamonds!

i think im over spending. seriously seriously. but i dont care. i want LV. and i want to go to taiwan before sch starts.

and ive totally no time for my friends at all. COW

i neeeeeed more timeeee.

and ive pay rise 2009 onwards!! more moolah. i like!

AND CNY MEANS ANG BAO MONEY also come in.

*one step closer to LV*

lord i pray i can spend less than 50 bucks a day. in jesus name, amen.

oh yes JAN SUM, birthday celebration for you?

im back

2008-12-11T08:37:00.001-08:00

PLS SUPPORT PEOPLE! http://www.bigis-beautiful.blogspot.com/

okay im back! ive updated! been really busy and emotionally crazy from many many things. and im really addicted to smoking recently. its good its good when everything comes crashing down. argh. i feel like a cow. ive told lies to pacify myself and everyone. and it doesnt feel anything near good. i get tired of life and pray everyday would just end by letting something hit the earth. fuck.

money is so far so good. but i dont think im getting a LV anymore. because its seriously waste of money. and im only 18. who the hell will think my LV is real. and im real fat. worse right. dont even fit that LV. fuck la. stick to agnes b. cow cow cow.

and to all my lovely friends out there. im so sorry but im really busy. working. i only have one or no off day a week and i dont wish to spend it outside playing. because im really tired to entertain whatever shit. be it good shit or bad shit. i slept for 10 hours the other day... and i felt good. but everything came to an end when i realized i need to work 8 days straight again. i'll try to make time for gatherings and parties i hope. but i just realized xmas countdown and NewYear countdown would be futile for me because im starting work at 730am the next morning??!?! ok. wtf i know. sorry babes. 761. jan. siokxin. chelk. alycia. pam. yes and all my dance mates.

im currently into reading. because its the only time i can find peace to myself. reading is good and makes me feel better because some cow in the book has a worse fate.

cartel/work is shit. because there are fucking rude customers each day. esp OFFICE LADIES and AUNTIES and JC kids. i shall give you a classic example/more of each. sorry if you're offended. im too tired to care, im just blogging out word for word.

OFFICE LADIES

3 OLs come in seated with their orders placed while 2 of their OLs arrived 15 mins later. the 2 OLs proceed with their orders. then obviously we serve the first 3 orders whilst the 2 later orders will arrive later right!?!? commen sense. CARTEL is not FINE DINING. (and even a fine dining does not ensure all 5 main course arrive at one time). that fucking FAT bitch complained that THEY HAVE TO WORK and their running late. FUCK LA CHAO CHEEBYE. you working i not working meh! unreasonable ok this one! obviously i tried my best to hurry the kitchen. but orders were piling up.. thr's nth we cld do. so she complained. whatever. thank you bye.

another OL placed her LV bag on the floor. on the floor leh, hahahahahaha

and another OL requested for bread. i kindly told her its self service at the counter. she insisted someone to take it for her. okay whatever i gave her a whole basket.

this OL best. come in and say table for 4. we gave her table for 4. then another friend came. she made us place an extra chair which obviously blocks the passageway. we suggested for her to change table she said no. wtffffffffffffffffff. its really squeezy ok! but im no pushover. i purposely made a bang on the chair everytime i pass. still, she did not budge. inconsiderate.

OLs are cheapo!!! because set lunch is only 9.50 and they still ask for discount!!!! CHEAPO CHEAPO CHEAPO! no money go geylang stand la. can buy LV still need discount?!?!? 9.50 means you save a bloody 95cents only!!!!

AUNTYS

i overheard this aunty. eh lets sit nearer to the bread station can take more bread. aunty!!!

there;s this aunty that wanted to make her payment and she shouted a HELLO damn loud ok! so i said THANK YOU BYE damn loud also and she complained. knn.

there's this aunty that waited 10 mins for her waffle and she got angry!!! i think its quite fast already. because the waffle machine takes 3 mins to prepare the waffle plus ordering time and keying of order. and nvm she complain abt the waiting time... when she made her payment. she threw her money at me. i was at the cashier. threw leh. WTF.

and all aunty ask the same fucking question!!! the bread free ah? KNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

JC KIDS

there;s this time 4 JJC kids came to dine in. i was doing server. when i placed the GRILLED CHICKEN and CHICKEN AND FISH COMBO down.. after repeating each dish's name.. they looked fucking shocked. i stood there because i couldnt walk away as it wld be rude if their order was wrong. but... they looked up and asked... WHATS THE DIFFERENCE AH?

fuck. hello. there's the FISH. are you going to UNI to learn how a fish actually look like.

and 2 SAJC girls came in. i told them free seating and they chose an 8 seater table when there were clearly alot alot alot of 2 and 4 seaters couch available. MORE is MORE right. inconsiderate.

and 6 ACJC kids came to dine in. they wrote on their order pad. NO ONIONS and HAM. they ordered a HAM AND EGG SANDWICH. we did the sandwich according to what they want.. and when served. THAT SHORT SKIRT CELLULITE THIGHS girl exclaimed " OMG THIS SANDWICH LOOKS ORGANIC! " so i happily searched for the order pad but the cashier threw it away!!! nvm.. THE BITCHES suddenly remembered that they wrote NO ONIONS AND HAM. and requested we RE DO for them. UNREASONABLE AGAIN! but we just inserted HAM inside. FUCK CARE! i was really angry by her bitchyness.. so i purposely said aloud to the other staffs on shift. EH! MUST STUDY HARD... IF NOT YOU DONT KNOW THE MEANING of NO! " im not petty over this... but she did not have to be so... urgh you know. such a hippo. and i urge all JC kids to stop making their skirts shorter and shorter. when they sit down on the couch. their thighs show like some dinosaurs` and all the guys are laughing. just that they think its damn hot.

another 3 fugly JC kids came for interview. their attitude was bad. i just let them fill in the form for fun. not hiring. if hire them ah... cartel no men already.

2008-09-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

getting pregnant would be just so coool. and my baby will be the hippest kid around town! hieh.

i realized ive not been working enough. to earn my desired amount of cash. time to draw out my work plan again and hopefully i'll save up 20 000 before i ever enter adulthood.

ive been thinking of inserting a tagboard since everyone says i should. because they always dont see me online as i dont come in until 1 , 2am.

but. ive officially offended another guy ytd. again. and i think my tagboard will be spammed by guys, not girls. haha. yes. i dont care if he is going to sue me for defamation or what, but ive got to tell you girls........

that a stupid despo ah beng from SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC diploma in integrated events and project management
doesnt give a shit about money. he says he doesnt even bother if he earns less than 1k a month.
and fuck. he even offer to be a fourth party in my relationship. wtf. i proceeded to taunt him telling him that if he doesnt earn more than 1k a month at his age now (18) .. he should just f off. so i began talking money to him and he insulted me. *okay i just realized he insulted me not once, but a few times*
1. that no girls talk like this , meaning im the only girl who thinks abt money. you're absolutely wrong asshole. all clever and smart women love branded and no one will date you if you cant even afford a gucci at 23. *you obviously cant, as you dont even bother if you earn less than 1k a month*
2. that im sucking my boyfriend's money. if i ever had this ability. i wouldnt even choose my current boyfriend and would go for someone richer with status. and if i ever had this ability, i would still look down on you because you have no money nor looks.
3. you said that you hope my boyfriend will wisen up quickly. oh boy, this is a huge insult and i hope you read carefully what i text you back. in case you didnt get it. i repeat that i pamper my boyfriend too. and my earnings do not go into my pocket alone. i pity your parents and your future girlfriend.

pffff. lol. msn me for his name, and warn all the girls in sg that he is such a loser.

2008-09-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

by kwek

sweetness undefined (:

KWEK of Course In 2 Crew! i love a gd exercise. YIEH! says:
tml i buy two cup noodles we squat at the roadside and eat ok?
lol. money money and money says:
okay! lolololol

lol. money money and money says:
shuo dao zuo dao
KWEK of Course In 2 Crew! i love a gd exercise. YIEH! says:
LOL u serious ar
KWEK of Course In 2 Crew! i love a gd exercise. YIEH! says:
crazy im not gonna let my baby have cup noodles for dinner

if you think ive a very sweet boyfriend. DANG DANG! you're wrong.

lol. money money and money says:
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
KWEK of Course In 2 Crew! i love a gd exercise. YIEH! says:
lets do it for lunch

KWEK of Course In 2 Crew! i love a gd exercise. YIEH! says:
LOL
KWEK of Course In 2 Crew! i love a gd exercise. YIEH! says:
jkjk

lol. money money and money says:
fuck
KWEK of Course In 2 Crew! i love a gd exercise. YIEH! says:
wah lau

2008-09-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOK!
it was a late saturday night and we all decided to do something crazy by surprising kok! and we did it! kok's mum was so HIP and wonderful! she even made us finger food!HAHAHAHHA, these pictures are like 1/1000 of what we took. being a fatty bom bom and lazy ass, please proceed to www.herunspokenwords.blogspot.com for more videos for our crazy crazy night. ps: we dont look this ugly real life okay! it was very late and we're all super tired without dressing up and all! lol!
to baby goh! i miss the times at the library and im so thankful for your existence because i would never have made it through O levels without your patience and everything. im thankful that you stood by me throughout the years and im rilly glad we didnt fall apart. cheers to our awesome friendship and i love you always, thurs thurs thurs. im going to enjoy life like no tommorow! thursday baby! thursday! icebox and whitening!

haha, i know i look so hideous. but nvm okay! for you baby goh!
i want to see this bright smile of yours
stay
forever
=DDD

2008-09-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

ugly women, fuck

example 1

i swear im gonna buy myself a camera phone, and take photos of those unglam women who have succeeded in interrupting my well-being in the midst of my heavy workload. screw you women!

me: hi, sorry to interrupt, but do you have any last orders?

whore/slut with no looks/figure: my last order is water! *holding the plastic red cup in the air which is half filled* with the fucking office lady tone!

me: *smiles politely and nod willingly* but i shook my damn head while walking away

i tell you! i regret not taking photo of her fugly flat face okay! so young and ugly still dont want to put make up. explains your fat like stomach. anyways. if you have such fat stomach please refrain from wearing a white tight shirt. it just digusts me to the max i feel like filling you up with water since you already look so bloated, explains why you need more water when your glass is already half-filled.

example 2

bitch with thick and unholy make up: why is there no more bread?! *fuck , you come in 15 mins before we close , of course must wait a while la*

me: *shocked with her thick make up* but i politely replied, " yes, i'll get it cut for you shortly, please take a seat" and i gave my ever so sweet sunshine smile.

bitch: oh, i want it toasted and she fucking rolled her eyes!

me: i felt like vomiting as her lashes batted like a crocodile but i remained composed and gave a smile

bitch: she proceeded to place her order and she literally tore the paper off the pad so hard it flew to the ground! *explains her big body size, she's damn big okay i swear. i think she wears dorothy perkins size 20!* and she gave me the go-pick-it-up face. im not a dog you bitch.

anyhoodles. women sucks. yay. rachel cheng is not a woman.

2008-08-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

pseudo sex?

IewnaiJ says:
bedsheets with blood
IewnaiJ says:
LOL
i love to stain kwek's says:
what lol

i love to stain kwek's says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
i love to stain kwek's says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
IewnaiJ says:
hahahha stain with what huh

IewnaiJ says:
tsk tsk tsk
IewnaiJ says:
little patches of blood
IewnaiJ says:
be good, rach

i love to stain kwek's says:
lol
i love to stain kwek's says:
amen

2008-08-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

hello baby!

i think you look so cute when you were younger. i wonder how you manage to mature and grow not-so-cute anymore. HAHAHA! oops. but i still love you lah, okay! lol.

something really special for you ;

dear baby

its been less than a month but im thankful for your presence

and im really sorry

how those hurtful words of mine sliced your heart through and welled up your eyes

it always occur to me

to this extent when i didnt know how could i love you further

all because you';re someone so special

i cant bear to be a player

i'll be honest to say ive not place my trust in you wholeheartedly

but i know ive all the time in the world

as you'll continue loving me

thank you baby for enduring everything i gave you

you know baby

i love the way you talk to me because its so funny and comical and sweet

i love the way we communicate because i feel so comfortable and un-pretentious

i love the way you hold my small hand in the big hand of yours because it just fits perfectly

i love the way you hug me everytime we meet because it just melts my heart

i love the way we kiss because you have the most amazing sexy lips ever

plus

i love the way you give me red mosquito bites!

i love the way you teach me how to sing in my weirdest accented voice!

i love the way we walk and walk and walk!

i love the way you appear so weak to me because i'll love you extra more!

i love the way you try to make me happy, like wearing a yellow dress!

i love the way i can shelter you from the rain with my sexy hot pink umbrella!

i love the way you dance because it brings a smile to my face!

i love the way you kiss baby's head, ultra cute!

i love the way you're so willing to talk to my soft toys with me!

i love the way we meet almost every other day because i can;t live without you!

i love the way you are!

and to my dear jan!

yes ive a new boyfriend, but he's so special to me this time i make sure

you wont ask me this question again!

lolololololololol.

2008-08-19T12:35:00.000-07:00

the song that baby sings is the best tune ive ever heard.

yes lord im in love.

i feel like a little child

whose life has just begun.

oh yes, i found a new job at far east! i love michelle because she's so friendly! i miss shopping with sinee and yingqiu. i miss jan and siokxin's madness and crazy times. i miss leeedia's wild nights. i miss chelkwan alycia genevieve going high on martini i miss yueyuan my thomson road hot date! i miss cartel ex staffs! i miss when i was a little girl.

2008-08-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

can your boyfriend look like this? or dance like the above?

mine can! LOL.

i love you truckloads and i love your ear to the m to the a to the x.

2008-08-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

love is the sweetest sin!

you slept with me all summer but you were gone when winter came. your words poured out sweet and inviting, but there was a time love was blind. you ceased me from waiting yet pulled my trigger tight. i had no choice baby, no choice but to love you, untasted. there along i was addicted to you, clenching on your reins so tight , my hands grew old. the thorns pierced my eyes i could not find my way, praying for you to lead me on. tenderly i left, after so long. a wooden doll came my way and twisted my pain all away, its spring wounded my love so tight i never lose my way. it clicks 24/7 keeping me happy all day, i ask it why? and flip flop flip flop was all it says. i knew i found happiness right from the perfect touch, i pick up myself from the paper couch ;

baby, thank you for everything. i will never redeem all the love enough for all my past blotches but i'll love you for as long as i can and give you the best of what i can achieve. ps i love you.

2008-08-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

SILKPRO is the SEX!

yes to all. ive changed my shampoo again! for those who love the softness of my hair and always question my shampoo brand ; go buy silkpro!. im no more using sunsilk! i think the awesome shampoo smell stays longer than sunsilk. plus!!! you must use conditioner at the end of your hair! great hair for up to 10 hours!

and im going to the flyer this sunday! i cant wait! thanks to dear rachelkwan!

i love august, because lovely things fall and take place in august. thank you lord for august. haha! * i sound so stupid*

temporary temptation licks me all in love. i passed the silver lining but will i endure the golden compass? how long will it go on. will the consequence be too large , will i be suffocated at the end of my run, ive to give up one flag at the end of the journey. pick the best for me daddy.

i love you baby.

number sixteen

2008-08-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

suntec dance auditions today! i saw JAZYLLA! congrats to SDZ and hanafifi for getting through the heats. i felt pathetic as i see little kids prancing around in the big nono costumes and i wonder why in my comical pea sized hypothalamus that their parents, actually allow their child to degrade and decompose.pffff.

its 4.10am sunday morning. just came back from brendy's place! choreographing at the wee hours actually do help activate my brain cells at its optimum, jiayou afiq! brendy and louis!

im blogging because im amused that ive work in 5 hours time. (9am) at plaza singapura.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH, shit.

number fifteen

2008-08-01T02:20:00.000-07:00

thank you God, for everything you placed me through this walk of life. many times, i thought you werent there for me. i just broke down. but i had this chance to be with you again, im willing to sacrifice. teach me well my father, ive to walk right.

sometimes the music goes really out of control and crazy, i have to learn. sometimes the beat skips a little too fast, i have to learn. sometimes the chords strums so hard against my chest, i have to learn. sometimes the notes cannot be hit, i have to learn. sometimes i missed my pedal, i have to learn. sometimes i ran out of ideas to play my scales, i have to learn. sometimes i even skip my slurs, i have to learn. sometimes and maybe all the time, i forget about about the allegro, piano, forte and staccatos, i know ive to learn.

boy ive invited you into my life, will you run this marathon with me?

you know. i may not be that young teen with a perfect family. boyfriend. friends and life, but im contented as i replay my old scores. god will make a way, when there seems to be no way, he works in ways we cannot see. he will make a way for me.

number fourteen

2008-07-26T10:44:00.001-07:00

TIRAMISU AT MANHATTEN'S WAS AWESOMELY DELIGHTFUL, I BEGGED FOR MY OVEN WHEN I REACHED HOME.

TEQUILA SUNRISE!PINA COLANDA!LYCHEE MARTINI!

MY BEST GIRLFRIEND FOR ; 10 YEARS! WE SHARE THE SAME NAME TOO! RACHELS!

CHELK,ALYCIA,GENEVIEVE.CHELC, THE MARYMOUNT GIRLS ALL GROWN UP!

TEEHEE.

my vase collects dust

25 cents, ive pictured the hourglass. i see you in the tiny flask, flushed. boy oh boy. questioned myself,you've tolled me over with your royal rush.i seek your face, there and when.the pin drop silence broke my cries,i wailed to myself why. god oh god. dont rape my past,i want to love,like a baby grass.dandy man, pick up sticks, for i carved my burning desires deep yet safe.

number thirteen.

2008-07-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

it all felt cold and calmy this bloody morning.

i think 100% wont understand this post.so dont bother reading further. my scream got lost in a paper cup. i woke up in this cheetah speed. i had memories of you prancing around me like a dancing bear. i wanted so much for you to be holding me. right there. the phone rang. the content was so loud my tears nearly exploded.i threw the stuff toy across the room. bouncing off my table top.i wonder why, if your picture was still hanging on my wall, was it not so grey, not so grey afterall. the toys were stacking up all inside me, slowly crumbling down to the floor.it pricked me hard, pricked me soft, i felt like plasticine after all.baby i dont know what i want, baby you're aint showing it . im dying to cut right up to your sleeve and slice my kiss through your wrist.

number twelve

2008-07-22T09:40:00.001-07:00

is my carnival all black , white and grey?

been feeling pretty pretty emotional today, idk why. just felt so. i was thankful the taxi uncle with crazy hair thinks im pretty and commented that i dont have to study since ive such good looks. and he notices the guys that look into the cab at me when driving and when i was paying him the fare. he definitely made my day but the point is, i aint that , pretty.

okay. so i sat for a test. and i almost blow it up, period. so i was trying , practically trying very hard to finish my assignment. but i came across this link, *not for the weak hearted*http://bbs3.news.163.com/bbs/photo/86705095.html :'( through kaiyan's blog!

i was enjoying dance session today with cic! im sorry jerome! that haha, ive not been out with you, since you asked like1 year plus ago! we will catch a movie soon okay! sorry sorry. izzy went nonsensical during the train ride home. but i kinda enjoyed her entertainment (: lol. i love you izzy! yaye!

i suddenly realized. if there was a disaster and only either you or your family member/boyfriend/girlfriend will survive, who will you let go, yourself or him/her? i believe most people will answer that they themselves should die. but i beg to differ, i think the one surviving would be experiencing much more pain compared to the one who passed away, so i will choose to let my love die. do i make sense? or its just me.

anyways! i thought of something really sweet,
boyfriend: if me and your mum drop into the sea, who will you save?

girlfriend: *the boyf will expect you to say him* my mum!

boyfriend: *shocked and abit disappointed*

girlfriend: after i save my mum , i will jump down and die with you.

awwwwww. =DDD

you see.im so emo. lol.

you're such an idiot in love. but im still attracted to you.

number eleven

2008-07-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

louis: hee hee , i see a cute guy.

*louis tries to give the cute little boy a hug. but the little boy doesnt like the korkor.*

*cute boy tosses the old korkor a smile. the korkor feels dejected and questions WHY?!?!*

louis korkor is sad, but he thinks of sexman hengthye...

specially for louis because he' such a *****, he has pms tonight. (:

>.< you're getting cuter than brendan. HAHA

number ten

2008-07-18T12:47:00.001-07:00

tu no piensas que es lo justo

i think tony leung is so so hot. hotter than my giraffe bra. the deep deep eyes just sends me flying. woo. he's so hot.

today is today ; haha. nothing much i guess, im blogging. because.. i want to talk to him.

oh, on a lighter note, there was this lady customer earlier tonight, she talked to me in this reallly really seductive tone asking for her tropical sunrise,i wonder if she had glaucoma because i aint a hot guy or whatever. she attempted to show me her not-very-sexy cleavage too. i think she's lesbian. =DDD

baby boy ; i miss you today. i'll be seeing you soon but , i still miss you. i didnt want to look desperate by initiating the sms, but i still miss you. argh. this is killing me. and deary, i wont leave you as i promise okay, your paranoidal syndrome has set me effing pissed recently, but i know. ilu more than anything. i know you love me boy, i think im starting to like you too, you're starting to look gorgeous to me, and i think, well. you're hot.

number eight

2008-07-17T09:33:00.000-07:00

whether pale spirits could blush

the above picture is just so sweet rrrright. i know ive karma. that stupid boy didnt send me to school today cause he woke up late and calls to apologize profusely. but no, he isnt my boyfriend, just ohwells, someone who loves to send me to school. i did ; feel obliged.

yaye. i bought headbands. pink! purple! black! and i headed home to catch a shot at love 2 with tila tequila. she's getting hotter each season. ahhhhhh.

i wasnt lazy so i did, and i went for NAO's class @ oschool, thank GOD i wasnt lazy bumbum. dope dope dope. out here grindin!

whoo. TGIF tmr! though ive school at 8. so what! HAHA! and im working 6pm to 2am. any kind soul(s) can drop by to visit me. HAHA. i can treat you to a cigratte or 2. lol. work is going to rock my panties because because because; ive sexy managers!

boy oh boy, you instilled me with this crazy plan. im starting to fall head over heels over your crazy afro hair, i'll keep on waiting. i want you, so don;t take your time to notice me. sweetness undefined.

2008-07-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

shopping is lots of fun

i bought shoes, baggy jeans, 2 knickers, kong shong san bu (airwalk) bag and salvadore ferragamo - incanto heaven perfume! the ferragamo smells really sweet, and not that strong! suitable for the wild yet sweet, go get it! yes. though i just got my ralph lauren romance , i stll waiting for my burberry! scents!

anyhoody, course into crew session was so enjoyable. we took videos and pictures. but we forgot to take a group photo. see how dumb! HAHA, yaye, there will be CIC outing this saturday!

=DDDDD me loves CIC many many many.

thanks to daddy, who sponsored me everything, i cant help but feel sorry for myself sometimes ): i will try to study well pope. sorrys. and my mummy so cute she tell me bishan got TI KO PEK! rofl.

im all into you, you've got me thinking through that little smile of yours and will never fail to keep me happy. the way you push my head, keeps me nodding in satisfaction. and i dont care what they say, im in love with you.

number seven

2008-07-13T10:04:00.001-07:00

loads of gorilla shit rained down on me =/

i see the children, i want to be back at one daddy, i miss my family.

i want my friends, i need them. but im choosing to let go.

my shattered dreams and broken heart. now i sit all alone, wishing all the feeling was gone. i gave my best to you, nothing for me to do. but can i just have one last cry, before i leave it out all of my mind.

and i think baby,

you're making me go mad. i think about you everyday, i try to talk to you everyday. i open up the msn conversation box everyday and think hard to find a topic to start.but you dont seem to notice that you're getting me in love with you. i dont like him baby, its isnt him, its you.stop telling me about the girl next door, im in love with you.

why do stars fall down from the sky. whenever you walk by ; just like me. they want to be close to you.

number six

2008-07-10T09:16:00.001-07:00

fuck you.

someone just fucking asked me for sex. and you know how much he's paying? 900 bucks, oh boy!that';s only enough for me to fit the condom on your tiny penis. well! of course, i negotiated for 5000 bucks for full proof sex.

HAHA! you guys must be cursing me now. it was just a joke. of course i didnt fucking reply. its just that i feel fucking fucking fucking cheap now. seriously do i have that cheap look. eff. it isnt the first time! fuck all the penis people.

im so pissed i cant blog. i feel so sad about myself now. i feel like wallowing in self pity. yes maybe im the cheap slut out there, rather appear to be, but i swear upon the name of your mother ive never had real sex and stop thinking that ive a boyfriend girls, it really irritates me. esp YOU! yes YOU! i dont have a effing boyfriend and stop asking me silly questions about sex and stuff, i know it just makes you feel good because you get to see me frustrated over your topics, i beg you. leave.please.

i know the post sounds so old school. but sometimes you wonder why are there still such childish people out there, its not that ive to condemn but yes. it really sucks if you're in my shoes.

paint your penis pink lah!

number five

2008-07-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

monday! modern dance @ SP. lyrical jazz RYAN. house session DANIEL.

tuesday!COURSE IN 2 CREW session. rachel's choreo.*sorry so flava*
wednesday!PHYSICAL TRANING! RUNNING! HIPHOP CLASS, DOPE CLOWN MOVES, FREESTLE HOUSE! WACKING! PUNKING! AEROBICS!

yes, it feel so dope to dance and dance and dance.

haha. and i.. haven't got my burberry perfume. any kind soul out there willing to sponsor me! i'll promise you a date if you get me that. HAHA! cheap. *im was joking* yesyesyes. my mum got me a burberry bag, its red. HOT!

ah, someone save me! i have to plan a birthday party this sunday! bless me okay! i hope my lovelies will enjoy every inch of the day! muah!

oh. was sitting in the tube. was sitting having breakfast. and it just dwells on me again, is there true love? ive been cheated by honey sweet words. from both guys and girls. screwed ; oh wells. God, drop me someone i can love. im deprived , or just let me get pregnant so i can love my baby like no tomorrow. smacks!

whoohoo! ive ryan's lyrical hiphop tmr! friday will be SMU's dance garage! sat is ben;s and ann;s class plus ko night. and sunday is party!

WALKING OUT FROM DEPRESSION HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

number four

2008-07-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

i went to tattoo with siok today! i think's she so hot. and her hair's so sexy. HAHA. sorry girls. was really tired. skipped the outing with sdz too. anyways! yes. tattoo. argh. i need a piercing right now. and to add up the frustration in me. ive school. and tmr is monday. my time table this whole week totallly

digs. and its

my dears birthday this weekend. okay. i dont care. im going to plan it well (:

it started out all this morning when i was walking to take the tube. goodness. the aunties! i swear im not going to let myself degrade to such unglamness. and and and. its time to use anti-ageing cream. i can feel the sagging of my face. HAHA okay. joking. but im rilly rilly just rilly rilly very worrried. ): yesyesyes. i need to spend a day at home to gather all my clothes for sale. and best of all, i cater to larger size ladies! yes. you girls can look pretty too! im a UK 10 to 12. unlike those models ranging from size 6 to 8! you';re sure to fit in my collection!

rah. its like 8 hours to GEMS, and ive groupmates ive never talked too.

number three

2008-07-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

tila's so so hot. ive to tell everyone this everyday. tila's so so hot.

i can;t wait for tmr! okay. no its today! because love is getting a tattoo. and if im tempted im getting one too. ahhhhh.

i have nothing to blog about today. cause i danced the whole day.

anyhoodles, you know everytime i look at couples, mainly if they consists of a handsome guy and ugly girl. you know you know you know. i get the jealousy inside me. no, not that i don't have a boyfriend. but i think the guy really loves the girl. awws, but no. im not going to turn uglier just for that, but still. aye. you get what i mean. it just sinks into my bimbotic head once again that true love still exists and there are some mr. nice(s) out there.okay but whatever. they still have a p to the e to the n to the i to the s. dont ask me why. im just digusted by that thing.

yes and tv's playing this "once upon a time" drama. its about this husband who had a woman. and how his wife fought back everything. yeah. i think i turning back into a lesbian. dani's so hot anyway. im beginning to feel my awkwardness and barrier towards the people out there with a penis. anyways. i saw this duper cool shirt on mtv channel. it reads. VAGINATERIAN, hot.

im going to customize my own shirts, yaye. money just pelted down from the heavens.
1.MY NUMBER IS 93825968
2.HOW TO BE A RACHEL CHENG
3.COURSE INTO CREW

yes.clarke quay in 8 hours!

number two

2008-07-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

its a beautiful saturday morning, with the sweet text msgs i woke up with. however, when i was scrolling down the inbox. i caught eye of this tootsy msg that just ruin my whole saturday morning.

fuck you, sorry girls. i told you this blog is going to be so totally me. yes. i need to rant if off before heading out. cause i don't want to face everyone with a frown today! its saturday!

effing god, are you sick in the mind, i don't really know what you want baby, you're kinda getting scary. just leave it behind us and all, i know you've said so much more. i know you didn't really want to lose me as a newfound friend. but hey, it isn't the way to do it. and if that makes you happy, im glad for you. just that on my side, sorry. you're out of my league. gracious, seriously. many times you made me think twice of being a christian, i see the ugly christians every every corner in the world. urg. * note im not criticising GOD, but his followers that failed his message * , urg. do you really see why you've such a small circle of friends, sorry. im really effing pissed with you. can't you just give me some peace since you said i was a true friend? whatever. im not bothering in any case about this effing problem.

smack that all on the floor.

number one

2008-07-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

hello hotties! im back with a whole new twist. UNASHAMED, i admit ive contracted a sickness called DEPRESSION some time ago. im walking out of it though, and yes, this blog is so going to be totally me. i know some guys hate it. but still, i love my own skin!

to start off the new post! i had this event job tonight at mount faber. wow. good money i must say! and the PR guy of SENTOSA was just so effing cute. if he was younger i would totally dig him. i bet that 28 year old woman was jealous i was getting attention! she kept interrupting me and the PR guy! awws! anyways slacked, slacked and more slacked. just at this moment, my hp gave a vibration.

94657655 says: hi sweetie i miss you

rachel says: oh who are you?

94657655 says: oh, got people miss you , you so happy ah?

rachel says: oh wells, im always being missed, so who the hell are you?

94657655: U r so thick skinned and stop being bitchy...and im more interested cause you duno who am i.

rachel says: oh, what;s your problem? if you're here to make me upset, you're bad at it. anyways. i love you honey. haha! i bet your penis stinks.

94657655: absoulute bitchiness * notice the way he spells bitchiness, total ah beng * i love the way you talk. we had so many good times tgt, i just miss you suddenly. you will miss me too, in time to come.

*okay.. im too tired to continue*

but the last 2 msgs went like this.

94657655 says: U r just a bitch and im not turned on, i cant stand your fats and everything.

rachel says : wow. i find you more beautiful honey boy. you need an ugly and fat bitch to amuse you. aww. my heart goes all out to you. hugs and kisses.

period. i know you guys love me out there. yes i know im bitchy. i dress sexily in school. i know i get stares from girls. but yes. who could you blame? yourself for being lazy. and girls. i aint pretty or whatever, its just the personality that counts okay. get this right and stop looking at me. * though i hell lot enjoy it *

yes. effing life. tila's so hot i cant stand it. dani's like. hot butch. i think im turning lesbian again. well. im so addicted to shot at love. wow. haha. been dancing for so long i forgot i had so much friends out there. im so sorrry. but pathetic JUNE is gone and im welcoming JULY. HOTHOTHOT july. with all my girls out there. clubs cigrattes and alcohol. not forgetting TATTOO! with curl extensions! i can't wait for halloweeen!

soft side of me ; i miss every inch of having a boyfriend. you know. i really hope i find someone to connect with. yes. like. i just want to love someone and provide him/her with all i can give. im 18, the time when all you people start dating like sweet birds. God, im stucked, tired of dating. give me a sign.

ive been thinking so much these days.maybe too much, haha, i dont know. i miss life. people who wants to hit the club. pm me please!

i cant wait for newstyle and hiphop tmr! whats with the K.O night hiphop! whoo. sexman!*tht* LOL.